


Selfies Please

by Vita_Orlando



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 02:08:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8949637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vita_Orlando/pseuds/Vita_Orlando
Summary: Phichit gets a special gift from a fan who wants a special selfie. Its the coolest water bottle he's ever seen. JJ finally gets to hang out with the gang. Chris tries to give the younger skaters "the talk"





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the YOI kink meme. Another quick little thing without much in the way of editing.

Yuuri sighed when he finally managed to dodge a few of the reporters swarming the competition and slip away. He was beyond glad Victor had suggested they scout out some escape routes after practice this morning. In fact, his ever charming, ever patient coach was still entertaining the press whether because he genuinely enjoyed the attention or to intentionally run interference, Yuuri didn’t know.

He hurried down a long corridor towards an exit that led out to a bay of dumpsters behind the arena. He was about to round the corner to the door when he heard a suspicious _thunk thunk thunk_. Curious, he peered around the bend in the hall. Yuuri gasped at the sight before him, an obviously distraught JJ banging his forehead against the cinder block wall with unhealthy intensity.

Without thinking, Yuuri rushed forward and grabbed JJ’s shoulders, swinging him away from the wall. “Stop it! You’ll hurt yourself.” And then he registered JJ’s silent shock and lost his words. They stared at each other, neither one speaking for quite some time, until Yuuri finally said, “I get it. I really do, but giving yourself a concussion won’t solve anything.”

JJ looked a little chagrinned and cast his eyes to the floor. Then he laughed. “You’re not that terrifying, now that I can think clearly.”

“Terrifying? Me?” Yuuri was utterly perplexed.

“You. Everyone. And you were all having fun last night, until I showed up. I wasn’t trying to be a jerk, some friendly trash talk fit the mood, I thought, and then you all left. And what if she doesn’t marry me for real now?” Then he gave a disgusted sigh and muttered “God, shut up JJ. No one wants to hear self-pity. Confidence.” With that he stood up straighter and made a half successful grasp for his usual cocky grin.

Yuuri stood amazed. Could it be that all JJ’s bravado was a way of coping with an internal state that very closely matched Yuuri’s all too common anxiety? It seemed likely. Moved, he leapt forward and embraced JJ firmly. “Come on.” He said pulling JJ to follow him and making for the exit. “I’ll make you some tea.”

He put water in the electric kettle, and was pulling out a tin filled with the particular blend he always associated with his mother’s calming warmth. He had to diet often enough during his teen years that she’d learned comfort food wasn’t a winning strategy, but this always helped him feel less anxious.

JJ paced back and forth across the small room, looking a little dazed, when there was a knock at the door. “I’ll get it.” JJ said, sounding relieved to have something to do. Yuuri couldn’t help but think that maybe they were a lot alike after all. They were certainly both awkward enough that this interaction  might not have been the best idea. “Hello, Phichit!” He said as he opened the door. Yuuri internally breathed a sigh of relief. Phichit made social situations a great deal more comfortable for everyone. It was one of the Thai skater’s natural talents, and Yuuri might never have been more grateful for it.

“Oh, hey JJ.” Phichit sounded happy, “Surprised to see you here.” Then he looked up and smiled, “Yuuri, is that your mom’s special blend?”

“Yeah, want some?”

“Of course” He rolled one of the hotel’s carts, loaded with two large cardboard boxes, into the room. “Yuuri’s mom always used to send him that tea. I always thought it was one of the perks of having him for a roommate in Detroit.”

“You’re moving in again?” JJ asked.

“What? No.” Phichit looked confused, then realized JJ was staring at the cart. “We always do this when we have events together. Hey, you should join in, too. Go get your haul. There are always a few fans who give really cool or weird presents. Going through it together is like Christmas morning.”

With that, he stacked the boxes on the floor and hustled JJ out the door with the cart.

Several minutes later, the three of them were animatedly comparing gifts. JJ’s spirits lifted visibly when he pulled out what Yuuri could only describe as an honest to god tiara. Well, it was more manly than the typical tiara, but it was definitely a costume jewelry crown covered in rhinestones. “I’m still the king!” He said, posing while Phichit snapped a photo.

Yuuri, for his part, once again had more plushy food items than he knew what to do with. “Seriously,” He said, rolling his eyes. “I’m in the best shape of my life and they still throw food at me.”

“It’s not meant to be an insult.” Phichit giggled. “You’re the one who publicly stated that your image of ideal erotic love was a pork cutlet bowl.”

“Holy shit, you’re really thinking about food when you skate eros? Cook for me sometime! I bet your amazing.” Yuuri would have thought JJ was mocking him before today, but he was pretty sure the guy meant it as a compliment. Yuuri couldn’t really judge poor social skills. “Though I might feel sorry for Victor. I bet he wishes you were thinking about him.”

“Oh, don’t worry. We moved beyond katsudon since China.” Victor said, walking in the door, followed closely by Chris. Yuuri hoped their arrival distracted everyone from the heat he could feel creeping up his neck and burning in his cheeks. It’s not like their relationship was a secret. Far from it. But Yuuri didn’t need Victor just casually babbling about when exactly they consummated the part of their relationship that was more than just coach and student.

The door had nearly shut when it burst inward driven by Yurio’s foot. “Did you think you were all going to have some kind of party without me?” Yurio yelled, sneering.

“Hi, Yurio!” Yuuri greeted him. He’d come to find Yurio’s attitude somewhat charming, oddly enough. Beautiful people really could get away with anything.

Yurio sneered in response then leaned back out the door and pulled Otabek in behind him. Yuuri and Victor’s room was rather small to accommodate all six finalists and one coach, but they managed to settle in cozily and Yuuri continued to make tea until everyone was served. When Phichit once again explained what they were doing, Otabek chuckled briefly then rifled through the pockets of Yurio’s abandoned coat before striding out the door. “He’s so intense.” Yuuri said in quiet amazement.

“Hmm. . . I think it’s a water bottle. Maybe?” Phichit examined a clear plastic box with something inside that did look sort of like a water bottle decorated in red and silver diagonal stripes. A ribbon around the box held a white envelope.

“Oh ho ho! No it’s not!!” Chris said with delight. “That’s a Tenga Cup. Resuable. I’m glad your fans are environmentally responsible, Phichit.”

Yuuri was about to ask what exactly that meant when Phichit began to read the note that had been attached to the gift. There was a lot of the usual good luck and congratulations stuff, which he mostly breezed by, but the end was interesting. “I’ve had a crush on you forever, but I’m way too shy to behave like a proper groupie. So . . . I hope I can at least help you feel good from afar.” There was only a small heart drawn as a signature, Yuuri saw, but there was a post script. “P.S. If I ever happen to see a Phichit O-face selfie, I can die happy.”

“What the hell is this crap?” Yurio asked, grabbing the object from Pichit and turning the box around to read the descriptive text on the back. He seemed to struggle briefly with the English, then he threw the item back into Phichit’s lap and backed away, nearly tripping over one of JJ’s boxes in the process. His cheeks were bright pink. “I thought my fans were crazy.” He sneered, then eyed the room, clearly looking for somewhere his discomfort might not be noticed.

“What is it, Phichit?” Yuuri asked, beyond curious now. “Not a water bottle.”

“I don’t know.” Phichit said. “It still looks like a water bottle to me.”

Yuuri cast a curious glance at Victor who was giggling violently, face buried in Chris’s shoulder. “They’re too pure.” Chris said, shoving Victor gently away. “And you’re useless. I feel like a parent.” He sighed and sat up straight on the bed. “Now boys,” He said, in a ridiculously prim voice, “gather round and let me teach you about the birds and the bees.”

“You have got to be kidding me.” Yurio snarled, but he didn’t make any move to leave.

“Um, what’s this got to do with my water bottle?” Phichit asked. Apparently at a loss, he’d decided to just go with that. Yuuri was more and more sure that ‘water bottle’ was entirely wrong as Victor dissolved into another fit of laughter. Then Yuuri realized that this was a perfect opportunity to avenge many embarrassing social media posts and stepped off the bed to record the scene from near the doorway.

Chris blew a kiss to the camera before continuing dramatically “Boys, boys, sometimes, for whatever reason, we sometimes take care of sexual needs on our own. I’m sure you’re all familiar with your own right hands, but that can get a bit boring after a while, no?”

“Oh come on,” JJ interrupted, “don’t tell me no one else here is flexible enough to suck their own-.”

“Not everyone takes their self-love to your level, honey. Though, yes, that’s a fun endeavor as well.” Chris quipped gleefully, barreling onward. “In any case, masturbatory aids make for a nice change of pace without a great deal of effort or risking the need for chiropractic services. And Phichit’s fan sent a very nice one. I have extensive experience with this brand and I have to say I recommend it very highly.”

Yuuri panned the camera over to Phichit who looked absolutely scandalized. “This is Yuuri Katsuki finally proving that Phichit Chulanont is too pure for this world.”

Finally, Phichit gathered his wits enough to realize he was on camera. He put a delicate hand to his mouth in partially feigned shock before announcing. “Thank you for what I’ve just been told is a very quality gift. I will do my best to make all your dreams come true. Please keep following my Instagram!”

A knock sounded and Victor let Otabek back in. He looked around, before zeroing in on Yurio. Yuuri followed him with the camera. As he said “Yuri got the best present though. Look.” And he very deftly slipped a belt complete with fluffy white cat tail around Yurio’s hips. He followed that with a pair of cat ears that actually started twitching of their own accord when he slipped them over the blond’s head and pressed a button.

“You know, the best thing about cats is that they’re pointy on five ends, new friend of mine.” Yurio snarled. Yuuri thought he looked a bit relieved at the change in the conversation’s focus though.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I know that's not exactly how nekomimi ears work, but it's close enough.


End file.
